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Dressed for the Mourning

from what may rot by Vandiver

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about

This song was written in my apartment in Ridgewood Queens, in 2020. It's sort of an obituary to my childhood I think. I've wasted a lot of my youth being ashamed. I wrote this as a reminder to forgive myself for my imperfections in the same way that I would forgive a friend for theirs. I'm still working on it. Thank you for listening.

lyrics

I'm dressed for the mourning,
day one of my after life and I
look down on my body,
still trying to prove he’s right

‘bout something
no one cares about
but he’d read it on the internet
that everything that they believe is wrong

And all I'm regretting,
is all of those things I did and said
that sound like complaining,
but I just wasn't explaining myself right

in conversations,
cause my throat would tighten up
when I felt strongly on a subject
and I’d rather make an enemy than cry

Look outta my window,
where all of those wild flowers grow
and sway to the wind blow
just like my hips when I was young

and I could give myself to any
situation having never
even thought about
How I am gonna miss it all so much

But I have quite the life now,
no gravity pulling down.
Can’t tell if Im aging,
cause there aint a clock around

and God broke all the mirrors
and he rippled all the waters.
All my shame it is, if nothing else
just ugliness reflecting on its self

I’m dressed for the morning,
and I plan to be nude by noon
and you will only see through me,
unless you are also nude

See it’s just that kind of heaven,
You envisioned in your youth,
except no body here is pretty
and no mind of any body seems to care.

To care
To care
To care

Look into the lens there
at all of those microscopic beings
that come from who knows where
God we are full of living things

And I remember then
If only for a moment
If I leave my mind too open
Then my soul might get the chance to fly away

credits

from what may rot, track released March 22, 2022
vocals, guitar, bass and various instrumentation: Andrew Hammond
drums: Kevin O'Connor
piano: Alex P. Wernquest

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Vandiver Asheville, North Carolina

A Soul-full Avant approach to Modern American folk, Vandiver is the creation of vocal chameleon singer/songwriter Andrew Hammond. Drummer Kevin O'Connor of Talkdemonic, supports Hammond's every-word-counts approach to lyrical songwriting and an emotive yet restrained vocal range. ... more

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